Friday, June 5, 2009

Dental Hijinks

There is only one way, I've found, for a nearly six-year-old to believe anything his mother says--reinforcement. If there is a second witness, namely his teacher at school, then Ethan figures I finally know what I'm talking about.

Ethan is learning about personal hygiene at school. He talks and talks of teeth brushing and hand washing as if they are some new revelation. I'm fairly certain he long-since learned both habits here at home, although now it would be extremely difficult to convince him of that.

Now one thing he did not learn at home--flossing. I know I'm a bad parent. It just seemed too complicated. But with his new school chart in hand, he's insisted on learning.

I promised him a trip to Wal-#@% for some flossing sticks. He plopped his floss down at the register and excitedly told the checker he was going to learn to floss. And now when he acts up, I threaten to take his floss away. I laugh because it works.
I gladly take a little parental substitution whenever I can get it, even if the support comes by way of mouth wash. It wasn't until Agent Cool Blue endorsed my claim that quality does count did I finally see a difference in the amount of fur on Ethan's teeth.

After he learned to floss he asked me what else I could teach him. His tone was one of wonder, as if it just occurred to him that I may actually know things. I said I could teach him some Russian.

"Yoooouuuu know Russian, Mom?" he said, utterly amazed.

I told him I had so many mad skills it would probably blow his mind.

11 comments:

Stacy said...

Yeah... parents don't know anything! Just wait until you get a school teacher that teaches WRONG INFORMATION! There is NO convincing them that it's not true.

The Wessman Family said...

That is hilarious. It makes my former life as a Kindergarten teacher take on all new meaning.

Linda said...

Hi Marian,
It is amazing what the teacher knows that the parent doesn't. he he
I remember a mother asking me to mention something in class, because her child wouldn't believe her. I love the mouthwash. It's so fun to read your blog.
Linda

Crystal said...

this is hilarious! I especially loved your "Wal-#@%". I feel the same way.

Jared said...

My daughter never believes a thing my wife tells her either. About a year ago they were arguing about something and Madeline said, "Well I will just have to ask dad about this." When my wife asked why she should ask me, Madeline said, "Because he knows stuff."

tweston said...

Oh, Marian! You do have mad skills! :)

Michael said...

You know, like nun chuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills...

Erin said...

Kids these days, I didn't think mom was "dumb" until I was a teenager! Abby will argue with Mike and I about everything until she hears it from someone else.

Nelson Nine said...

So funny and so much like children. Wait until he is 16!

Amanda said...

My kids always verify what I say with their dad. I hear, "Is that true, Dad?" Or, "I'll just ask Dad when he gets home." Stinkers.

Valerie S said...

This is a hilarious post. It brought back all kinds of memories. I love it that he was impressed you know Russian. I bet he bragged you up at school the next day.