He

Ethan came home with a poster today. From what I can gather the children are chosen to answer a few questions about themselves. The teacher writes the answers on the 2x3 sheet of ruled paper for the class to then work on word and letter recognition. I think. This is the second time Ethan has brought such a sheet home about himself. His first answer had something to do with playing Indiana Jones on the Wii. This time it said: Ethan Nelson likes playing Transformers on the Wii. I hope his teacher isn't using this exercise to establish a pattern of negligence.

The other night, while Randal was out of town, I noticed the house was getting colder and the boiler seemed not to be working. I called our neighbor who happens to be the one who installed the new boiler. He was out but promised to stop by on his way home. I bundled the kids up, sent them to bed and waited. Glen immediately diagnosed the problem--power had been shut off to the boiler. I didn't even know there was a power switch. Who had shut it off? I was the only adult home. It's not like the switch was in plain view or could be accidentally bumped. After a restless night's sleep thinking a serial killer was in the basement toying with me, I took Ethan down to the switch and asked if he had touched it. He said he had. Why? The noisy boiler had interfered with his video game playing in the other room.

There's no denying he loves video games. I don't mind. He follows the rules and doesn't whine when his time is up.

But he likes a lot of other things too. So I'm documenting proof Ethan is not so one-dimensional...

He likes to take hot, hot showers like me. Not woosey warm ones like his dad.

Apparently he loves pineapple, but not tomatoes. I found these post-it notes:
He likes to come home from school and tell me what he has learned. "Do you want to learn about Martin Luther King JR.?" he asked me. His tone was such I think he thought I was learning these things for the very first time. I played along.

He loves to write and receive mail. He calls any kind of mail "e-mail" and he doesn't believe me when I tell him e-mail really comes only by way of computer. I'm waiting for his teacher to explain it. Only then will he accept it as true.

He loves his Transformers calendar. He purchased it himself. He was even more proud of the receipt; showing it to his dad and saying, "I even got a receipt!" I couldn't throw it away for days.

He likes legos. And he likes making me gifts. Sometimes I even get lego gifts.
His likes his sister, and his sister really likes him. Instead of Ethan, she calls him "bwuddo" (brother). For a time she called him her son. I was relieved when she moved on from that one. Now she calls him my personal favorite--"best f-wend". It makes me cry.

In a family prayer, he recently thanked Heavenly Father for not mixing up families. I questioned him afterward to understand his meaning. He said, "if Steven [his friend] got mixed up with our family and I got mixed up in his family then you couldn't be my mom and I couldn't be your boy. So I'm glad Heavenly Father doesn't mix up families." I guess this means he likes us too.

I must stop there for now. He and I are going out for bubble-gum ice cream--something I know he likes better than video games.

Wallpaper is for Masochists

Yesterday was not one of my finest days. Not by a long shot.

Randal has been gone 12 days. During that time I planned on stripping the wallpaper in the bathroom and kitchen. I thought it would be encouraging for him to come home and see something had been done while he was gone. However, I subscribe to Mark Twain's philosophy, "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow." True to form, I saved the wretched task until yesterday, the day before Randal comes home.

And let me tell you, it was a mighty, mighty pain in the neck. Literally. I can hardly move today.

I lost my temper with my kids and blew dinner being spilled on the floor completely out of proportion. I apologized. Even though they forgave me, I know the incident is going to be filed away and used as fuel for them to hate me when they're teenagers.

And to top it off, the toilet started running non-stop. The only trick I have up my sleeve is to jiggle the handle--didn't work. (By the way, this is the second time something funky has happened to the toilet while Randal was on a trip.) I took the lid off the tank to see if something else might come to me. There was a hose floating in the water that seemed to be going nowhere. I lifted it up. The second it came out of the water it forcefully sprayed toilet water right in my face! I dropped the hose and, with the kind of power of a tiny fireman's hose, that slimy little sucker whipped around spraying down me and the entire bathroom.

Thanks to my dad, we figured out the problem and fixed the toilet.

The only redeemable thing about the day was the pan of cinnamon rolls Janna had given me for my birthday. I think I ate 3. On second thought...4. Maybe 5.

Today is a new day and Randal is coming home in a few hours. I cannot wait.

"One Year Closer to the Grave..."

Sometimes what happens when your expectations are low can really surprise you.

I wasn't expecting much for my birthday given Randal is out of town. I was fine with it. But in reality, I had a fabulous birthday.

Yesterday morning I reminded the kids it was my birthday, mainly so they wouldn't sass me and forgive me when I sneaked away to take a nap. Ethan was sure I couldn't have a birthday without decorations. He proceeded to make dozens of paper hearts and tape them around the house. Here's a few: (Notice the inch of dust. Just keepin' it real!)
It was stake conference. We didn't go. I feel bad. But only a little bit. Instead, I read and read and read. It didn't matter that I didn't even like the book.

Late afternoon I received a call from my best friend of 15+ years. She was expecting her 4th child, due in February. She called to let me know she was in labor. A baby on my birthday! What better gift can there be? I tried to convince her she had to name her baby girl after me, but they seemed to think having a birthday in common didn't trump being named after Grandma. Anyway, Chloe Emma was born yesterday. Congratulations Stacy and Robert!

Our friends the Dukes had invited us over for dinner. The Wilcoxes were there too. We had wonderful dinner with a surprise birthday cake. On top of the traditional birthday song, I even got another birthday song sung solo by John. Much better than my dad's mournful song: "Happy Birthday. Oh, Happy Birthday. There's no sun in the sky, people dying everywhere but, Happy Birthday..." (Actually, I love that dreadful song, it's tradition.)

If that wasn't enough, this morning my new friends from the ward held a birthday brunch. I have been spoiled!

I missed Randal, it's true. But I am overwhelmed by the number of great friends I now have in my life, both near and far. Each one of you truly are an answer to my prayers. I love you.

"Thrisis"

I heard that on an episode of ER--thrisis--a thirty-something, mid, mid-life crisis. I laughed. Then I wondered if I was having a thrisis of my own. Here's my evidence:

Right away the whole ER thing betrays me. I'm a long-time fan, even through the more tedious plot-point years. ER first aired the year I graduated from high school. Others have moved on--Clooney, Edwards and Whiley. But not me. And now that it is in it's final season I'm beginning to feel deep sadness, as if Dr. Greene is dying of cancer all over again.

Speaking of high school. I recently reconnected with a friend who is now a high school teacher. He wrote his students consider Duran Duran "old people" music. Surely they don't mean the same Duran Duran I listened to?

Then I remembered the plug-and-play game my parents gave us one Christmas with all sorts of Commodore 64 games including a childhood favorite, Impossible Mission. I was playing this one night when some boys from Randal's YM group stopped by. They were very interested in the game and asked a lot of questions about it's ancient graphics. I explained the game was from the first computer my family owned. As they left one said, "Thanks for the history lesson, Sister Nelson."

Randal had a birthday surprise delivered. My first Ipod. I know, I'm the last person to get one. Worse yet, I don't have the first clue how to work it. I'll have to wait until Randal gets home. Thanks, Honey.

And lastly, on the eve of my 33rd birthday, I realize the highlight of my entire week was participating in the RS Enrichment class on using wheat everyday. A few weeks back, I was asked to be part of the "wheat committee" in planning the activity. I don't claim to know much about wheat; but honestly, I know more than my younger self ever thought I would know. And since I'm being honest...I had a lot of fun.

With such overwhelming proof, the only thing I can do is join my friend in listening to more Duran Duran--on my Ipod.

Oh, and the bright side...with all that wheat I consumed today, I'm going to have a very "regular" birthday. And only we old people understand what a gift that truly can be.

Gross!

Randal called and said he tried raw horse in Japan.

So why is it that he eats something so nasty, yet I'm the one dealing with 2-year-old vomit today?

Broccoli's on the Menu Tonight

Randal is out of town. When he is gone we go easy peazy around here for dinner. Oh, who am I kidding I do it all the time. Poor Randal gets pancakes for dinner far more often than he deserves.

Anyway, yesterday I hit a new low.

We were out of milk and bread requiring a trip to Sam's Club. I figured we could stop at a respectable place for dinner on the way--Subway, Wendy's, any place with a cheap kid's meal. Ethan asked what kind of errands we would be doing trying to decide what degree of misery he should expect. I told him just Sam's.

"Could we eat there?" he asked.

And I agreed. I hung my head in shame as my kids ate super-size hot dogs with soggy buns and drank sodas far too large for their little bladders.

So why is it that something I find perfectly acceptable for lunch on a busy Saturday afternoon could make me feel so pathetic when I fed it to my kids for dinner? Was it the obvious absence of the 4 food groups? The price? (It was cheap, very cheap.) Or was it that we were eating "dinner" in a place with an exposed ceiling and cement floors?

Well, I was sufficiently punished--Adelaide wet the bed.

She

My kids have tried to eat me alive this weekend. Especially Adelaide. She's taken to screaming, "don't talk to me!" if she doesn't want me exercising my motherly rights. Plus, I'm on my own given that Randal is traveling for business.

Just when I was contemplating selling one of my children to even out my odds a lovable, little voice whispers in my ear, "Mom, will you snuggle with me?"

So on my lap she climbed. We laid there, belly to belly, while she examined all the anomalies on my face. (There's plenty to keep her busy.) Impulsively, she leaned up and kissed my mole. "All better!" she said as she tenderly patted my cheeks.

I really love this kid. She makes me crazy just about every day; but, she absolutely makes me laugh every day too.

I love that she sings "Happy Birthday Cake To You". The song's the better for it. Anything is better with cake.

I love our lunch dates. We are sadly lacking in play places around here; a pastime my kids and I enjoy. I figure the fast-food calories they eat are canceled out by running around on the filthy playland. I miss them. Nearly once a week, Adelaide and I find ourselves with a big shopping day spilling into lunchtime. Our favorite places have become a yummy bread and soup shop and Pizza Hut pizza at Target's "cafe". Without the distraction of a playland, I have discovered that a 2-year-old has a lot to say. Her eyes twinkle as she chatters and chatters. And I listen. Something I forget to do too often.

I love that she calls her girl parts her "privacies". "Mom, please wipe my privacies," she says. Makes the job not seem so bad.

I love that she is learning to use the computer all by herself, thanks to Starfall. She can even do the match games on her own. I was astounded.

I love it when I call her "ladybug" she indignantly says, "I not a ladybug...I, Ado-wade!"

I love her eyes. They're big and green and beautiful. There is no mistaking her mood; I can always read it in her eyes.

So after thinking about it, I've decided to ignore her impressive tantrum at Target and keep her after all. Her brother is going to have to be awfully good because it's his head now on the chopping block!

He Lives

I was preparing a lesson for YW today and happened upon this:

This Place is on Thin Ice

I told myself to reserve judgement of my new town for 6 months while I got used to it.

Today, on the heels of my 6-month deadline, the daytime weather is 7 degrees with the windchill factor measuring -10 degrees.

Maybe I need another 6 months.

Groovy, Baby!

I had an appointment with a podiatrist this morning. Nothing major. Didn't think I needed to bring my camera. Who would want to see the embarrassing, little issue I have with my feet?

Well, I'm dying at the idea that I cannot just SHOW you the office. I'm about to make a new appointment and pay another $25 copay just so I can take a photo! Wood paneling with a lovely blue wash. Saloon chairs in the waiting room. A monstrosity of a Christmas cactus sitting on a table. A raspy-voiced receptionist. And, of course, a dream catcher on the wall. 70's culture right down to the smell of cigarette smoke. I felt I had stepped into a chain-smoking, old lady's parlor.

I feel mean. The doctor was very nice. He didn't seem to need to kick a habit at all.

Happy Birthday (Observed)

We celebrated Randal's birthday yesterday. We spent the day flying and driving in an ice storm on his actual birthday. I'm not going to lie, the party wasn't that much better having waited several days to celebrate. Early church, teaching deacons and no gifts (upon his request) had something to do with the lack luster of the celebration. With a birth date so close to Christmas, he's learned not to expect too much.

I did succeed in making a great meal. With our kitchen in the early stages of remodel, dinner really is a special gift around here. Randal had even finished running new lights over our dining table the night before making it a real treat to eat in something other than darkness.

Randal really likes Olive Garden's Zuppa Toscana. Ever had it? It's delicious. I've been hanging onto a pirated recipe I found on the internet. His birthday seemed a good time to crack it out. And I must say, it's an extremely good likeness! We loved it.

Zuppa Toscana

1 lb. Italian sausage
1 tsp. crushed red pepper
1 onion, diced
4 Tbs. bacon pieces
2 tsp. minced garlic
10 cups water
5 cubes chicken bouillon
3 lg. Russet potatoes, unpeeled, sliced
1 cup heavy cream
1/4 bunch kale

Saute sausage and crushed red pepper; remove and refiegerate until needed. In the same pan, saute bacon, onion and garlic until onion is tender. Add water and bouillon; bring to a boil. Add potatoes and cook until soft (approximately 30 minutes). Reduce heat. Add cream and sausage; cook until heated through. Chop kale into bite-size pieces; add to soup just before serving. (Disclaimer: The picture is not mine. But it could have been! Last night it really did look that good!)

In keeping with the Olive Gardenesque theme I made pasta with pumpkin alfredo for the main dish. If my dad were here, he would've said it was a dangerous meal. "If you put a piece on your forehead, your tongue would lick out your brains trying to get to it," he would say. Do you see why I was embarrassed a lot as a kid? Here's the recipe in case you're interested in licking out your brains.

Randal, Happy Birthday. I love you. I consider you the greatest gift I've ever been given. You are patient and kind. I'm trying to to deserve you. Someday I hope to get there. (Next year, I promise not to spend your birthday gift money on plane tickets home and get you something other than a cheesy sentiment written on this blog.)

Holiday Highlights and Lowlights

This one's going to be a doozey. There's a prize for anyone who finishes reading to the end. (Rest assured, there will be a quiz.) By the way, I'm sick of using initials so my New Year's resolution is to stop. For once I think I'll be able to stick to my goal.

12 of my favorite vacation moments:
(By no means an all-inclusive list.)

1. We missed all the family parties so my brothers and sister recreated the "children's" nativity scene with Ethan and Adelaide. Kevin came in toting a gargantuan, Sam's Club olive oil as a gift for baby Jesus. (Notice their staffs are pool cues. Is that sacreligious?)

2. The kids using a toy tape recorder as a camera because they have no idea a tape recorder's true purpose.
3. Adelaide opening presents while sucking on a candy cane like a sugary cigar.

4. Ticket To Ride. Loads of fun even though I lost every game.

5. Visiting my grandma only to find out she reads my blog. Hi, Grandma!

6. Adelaide obsessing over one ornament on the tree--a figurine of the classic Pooh. She unabashedly said to anybody who would listen, "Winne the Pooh is naaaaaaaked!"
7. Grandpa N. playing countless games of hide-and-seek only to have Adelaide give up their spot every time. While hiding, he tried to whisper the rules of the game to her; yet she squealed, "here we are!" every time the counter reached 20.8. A night's stay with Randal's brother and his family at their cabin in Island Park. Three feet of snow had fallen a few days prior. Most of it was untouched and gorgeous. We had a great time.

9. Ethan commandeered a notebook from Grandma where he made a to-do list. He carefully crossed off each task completed: make bed, help Mom and Dad, help Grandma and Grandpa, do the dishes, help Adelaide, do something good. He was in the most gentlemanly mood I'd ever seen as he asked Grandma if he could help her with breakfast. Charmed the socks off her.10. Twilight. Didn't love the movie, but I loved seeing friends again. In case you're wondering why I didn't love the movie look here. "No!...No!...how...I don't know...how..." Stellar performance. Actually we spent time with a number of friends. Bowling. Girls' Night Christmas party. Lunch. Games. And a night spent as squatters at Krista and Dave's house while they were snowed in at the airport. Thanks!

11. Watching cheesy Hallmark channel Christmas movies with my mom and sister. Seriously, their DVR was 98% full of them. We caught a lot of flack. Why wouldn't we with titles like "A Kiss at Midnight" and "A Boyfriend For Christmas". Now that I think about it, Twilight was the most Oscar-worthy show I saw over the holidays.
12. Ethan's gingerbread house. It turned out great. (Well, after my 19-year-old brother taught us how to make graham cracker trusses so the roof wouldn't cave in. Geez, get a job!)

As for the lows:

1. Catching Adelaide's vomit in my hand only to have it run down and pool in the sleeve of my sweater. (My sister's sweater--so really the joke was on her too.)

2. A short while later, catching more vomit in my bra as I tried to run Adelaide to the bathroom. I sacrificed myself to save my parents' new carpet. Two days later, I caught the stomach flu too.

3. Randal ate one more time at Cafe Rio than I did.

4. My one goal was to learn to knit. Snow prevented my sister from coming back home to teach me. Next time.

5. And the lowest point of our trip..."A Boyfriend For Christmas"--most definitely the lowest.

Your prize is now the wonderful opportunity to comment on my mammoth post. Gotcha!

Where's a Beet Farm B&B When You Need One?

After giving it a few hours I'm sufficiently over my computer blunder and am ready to write a real post.

As I said earlier, we were in Utah and Idaho for the holidays. It was so good to be with our family and friends again. Before we knew it we were packing to come back home.

I was not too hopeful for a terrific flight home. In Utah we had snow. Our flight was early. The kids were Christmased out and tired. We had a layover in Las Vegas. And once arriving at the JFK airport, after a 2-hour time change, we would be getting in the car and driving 4 hours home.

Really the flight went great. Our largest bag ended up weighing exactly 50 pounds. The time seemed to pass quickly. The kids did well. I was surprised.

We arrived in NYC to rain. Not bad. However, after just 2 hours on the road, the rain had turned into the kind of freezing rain for which the east coast is famous. We stopped over and over to knock ice off the wipers and windshield. R. was stressed. A.M. was bawling. This is when we decided to pull off and stay the night at a hotel. Good decision. The next morning the news was reporting over-night accidents on the highway we had been traveling.

Nothing rather remarkable to say about the stay except for the exciting fact that we were just outside of Scranton, PA. So we gave a shout out to Jim, Pam, Dwight and Andy at Dunder Mifflin Paper Co. and went to bed.

We woke up to ice sheets covering everything. I've never seen anything like it. R. had to chip away at the ice to open the trunk and car doors. Everything looked like this, covered in up to an inch of ice. Beautiful.

We finally made it home. Yeah! Two days later, our driveway and most parking lots are still like sheets of ice. As we got out of the car today, A.M. said, "Be careful-ly, Mom! It's very, very slipper-ly." That girl loves her adverbs.

My Computer is Punishing Me

I should have listened to my friend's advice and saved my blog lists before I went around trying to change the background. I lost them. So if your name does not appear, please let me know. I have not cut any of you out of my life, I'm just an idiot.

As for the background--I'm sticking with black and white until I can stop saying swear words under my breath.

We're Home!!!

Most of you may know that we've spent the last 3 weeks in Utah and Idaho. We had a great time. However, all the while I felt the distressing feeling I had left a child behind. You know the scene in Home Alone where Macaulay Culkin's mom, having left her son home for the holidays, bursts through the door only to see him alive and well. That's how I felt...about my computer. Blog, oh how I missed you! I'm glad you were safe and I'm home now to take care of you!

I have lots to say about our big visit, but for now I'm going to unpack a few suitcases and try to ignore the deep sadness I'm feeling after leaving Utah--again.